The Complete Top 10 Joys of Married Life!

What fun to finally complete this list. And here's the official "Top 10 Joys of Married Life" from David & Suzie:

10. Double-dipping. 

You knew it was coming, after reading our honeymoon double-dipping adventures. Honeymooners can be so sappy, can't they? Of course, the joy of double-dipping can only be fulfilled if your mate signs off on the practice. But c'mon, you're folding his underwear and sharing her toothpaste, for pete's sake. Live a little! Even if you've been married for 20 years, and you haven't caught on to double-dipping yet, we encourage you to give it a try. It is oh-so-liberating to break a rule with your one and only.

9. Someone to hold your hand in church (or anywhere else) when you're getting emotional.

Have you ever had a complete breakdown, with tears galore, just because you heard a heartfelt song on the radio? Yes, you too, guys. At least when no one else was in the car. Well, the good news about marriage is that because you make yourself so vulnerable to your partner, he or she is OK with your emotional reactions. In fact, your other half may even anticipate your meltdown. Seriously. And what greater comfort than a hug or hand-holding when your heart is so to-the-touch tender. Trust me on this one, I know! (And even David has had his "dust in the eyes" moments, as he describes them.)

8.  Healthier habits. 

I don't know about others, but for David and I, we tend to make healthier choices when we're together. Not only do we take more time with our meals, they include a lot of fresh vegetables now, which we take time to prepare and to enjoy together. So far, we haven't had any nights where we had cereal for dinner. He tells me how much he appreciates me taking care of myself, and I find myself exercising 5-6 times a week. I encourage him to go workout for some time by himself, and he enjoys it, too. It's also gently reassuring to have someone who cares about your general health and will accompany you to the doctor when needed. David and I each have our own health issues--including lymphedema for me and thyroid for him, and we support each other through them. You don't need to be married to have your own "health advocate," but I think it's a great idea to get one whether by friend or by marriage.

7.  Someone to do life with.  
For years, OK even decades, David and I have done so many things alone. We had friends around at times, and family, too, but they couldn't always be there. So we sometimes took vacations or weekends away alone. We ate alone every day. It was the same thing with exercise, shopping, etc. The daily things of life were done solo, and we had only occasional times when we could share them with another. Married life brings so much togetherness, but the things we appreciate most are just having someone lying next to us in bed and having someone to share cooking and meals with. We were grateful for God's blessings when we were single; now, due to the long wait for marriage, we find ourselves in a grateful state each day, thanking God for a life companion.

6. Sharing expenses—and everything else.
I used to wilt lettuce almost weekly in my refrigerator--along with a variety of leftovers, too. Now I have a hungry husband who helps me finish things off. Spoiled perishables are becoming much rarer! Our automobile insurance premiums decreased since we are on a joint policy, as did our general living expenses, since we pay one mortgage, one electric bill, etc. And if we rent a movie via "verizon on demand," we pay one fee for the two of us. We have two people available to pick veggies from the garden and water the flowers. Same goes for cooking and cleaning up, too. And if one of us gets really busy for some reason, the other can field phone calls. I like knowing David is caring for our lawn and our bills, and he loves the clean laundry stacked on top of his dresser. As my niece says, "It's nice to share with other people."

5. 2x the problem-solving potential.
I don't always think logically, plotting out things from point a to point b, etc. But David does. I have tricks for cleaning and maintaining stuff, and he usually has tricks for how to get places easier and how to maximize trips, etc. He knows who to call for what, and he's not afraid to ask people for favors or to help them out when he notices they need it. Before they ask. When we prepare a meal for guests, we count on each other to pull it off with the least stress possible. Pooling your brainpower can pay off in so many ways I never anticipated. Our yin and yang are both necessary to get the best possible outcomes.

4. You complete me--er, complement me.

Ah, yes, the ying and the yang we spoke of last time. Let us make it clear first that we do not believe we complete each other. No offense to Tom Cruise or Renee Zellweger or the movie Jerry Maguire. We may be in our still-sappy newlywed phase, but we both agree we were complete long before we met each other. But as for complementing each other, we stand amazed. We love the give-and-take of married life, where one party knows the most about cooking and baking (that would be David, with his gourmet prowess and his to-die-for lemon cheesecake in a water bath), while the other partner excels at planning meals and efficient shopping (that would be me). David comes up with excellent solutions to many scheduling issues and "how-to" projects; I try to (gently) interject the female perspective on maintaining healthy relationships with friends and family. There's a balance we're finding that never existed before in life; however vulnerable marriage makes you, it helps to have someone who recognizes our weakness and fills in for them, while appreciating our strengths. (We'll save the "you complete me" for overdramatic chick flicks.)

3. Sex.

David suggested I call this one "knowing each other in the biblical sense." But it is what it is. So close your mouth that opened in surprise and stop that blushing; sex is a beautiful thing. This list would not be complete without it. If you're still in shock, read The Song of Solomon in the Bible and get back to us. Our culture has so distorted this amazingly mysterious and wondrous invention God created, that it's become dirty, casual, and even ho-hum. However difficult our single years were, as hard as it was to stay chaste in a world that tells you everybody is doing it, I was so happy to give myself first to David on our wedding night. (And if you're reading this and engaging in pre-marital sex or God-forbid, have been misused or abused in some way, there's healing and hope, friends. You can start over again, as so many have.) Red-hot monogamy is alive and well. Yeah, baby!

2. All-for-one and One-for-all.

How does it feel to have someone in your corner at all times--someone who wants the best for you and will defend your interests, even if it costs them personally? It feels pretty doggone good! We're only beginning to experience this, as we have functioned so long in "solo" mode, but the oneness we're cultivating yields countless dividends. There is a sacrificial component to marriage that is so complete and consuming that it takes your breath away. It can be a source of pain, surely, when one partner does something that hurts the other--because you are so close to your spouse, the hurt cuts like a knife. But as you seek God and discover your role as the respecter, lover, and supporter of your husband or wife, you cultivate true joy in being one. It's such a mystery how we can be separate, complete entities--and yet come together in oneness. You start discovering a whole lot about God and his love for his bride, the Church, in this whole process. 

1. Discovery.

Your wedding day comes, and you sign the marriage license, and presto--it's official! You are on the wildest ride of your entire life. You leave your family and cleave to your spouse to start a new family. It's absolutely mind-boggling! And at the very top of the list of joys is the process of discovering all the ins-and-outs, the quirks and habits, the dreams and resignations, of your lifemate. You find out you squeeze the toothpaste and load the toilet paper entirely differently. You discover that your husband may wake up at 5 am and he quickly discovers you do not wake until 7 am, if he wants you to be happy. And beyond all these idiosyncrasies and the many fascinating details that make each of us unique, the bigger discovery is how all these factors collide and combine as you come together. You are creating a new, hopefully beautifully-scented, potpourri. And as time passes, and we settle into a combined life together, new opportunities emerge from your union. New foods you would have never tried. New places you'll now consider going to. New family members to love. And new ministry opportunities you would not have attempted alone. Ah, the joy of discovery...

Thanks for reading! If you're married, we hope this list has encouraged you in your own union. If you're single, we hope you'll grab all the joys of single life, as there are many! And if you hope to be married someday, we hope you'll pray for a person who can commit to a life of joy, discovery, and service. As this 35-year-old and 43-year-old recently commented to each other, you will be able to say "You were worth the wait, honey!"

Cheers!