High time to blog

I don't know quite how to say this . . . but I am getting married in 14 days. Unbelievable!

It's been so long since I've truly set down to think about writing, that I've got a bazillion things to say. But I'll try to at least keep them organized, and to at least let you know when I'm changing the subject. I'll try.

This morning
Jack (the guy who was planning to walk me down the aisle) had triple bypass surgery and came through swimmingly. His wife Lahree reports that they may put him into a regular room by tomorrow. We're absolutely thrilled and so thankful to God for healing. Now if we can only find ways to entertain him through his hospital stay...three weeks and counting. (see posted pic of Jack and Lahree up by Lake Michigan a few years ago)

Goodbye to the Y
For 9 years, I've taught water aerobics every Thursday night at 6:30 at my local Y. It's like the best habit ever--super good workout and one hour of play in the wet stuff. I'll miss it lots, and the people, and the secrets shared while working out in the pool, and the workouts that have cleared my head and helped me heal through depression.

I once sat in the sauna and sobbed about a failed romance. I kept working out after losing a job, and continued still after finding a new one. I have felt my muscles and body grow stronger, while my spirit did as well. It's been a constant...and the people in my class have become friends.

Goodbye to my Y. You will be missed.

And farewell to my friends
I've been blessed through two wedding showers--one with my coworkers and one with girlfriends at the local melting pot fondue restaurant (a sweet experience, indeed!).

My dear friend Julie (the one I've traveled with, prayed with, cryed with, and celebrated with) graciously made shower #2 a soothing and uplifting experience. I was speechless after each amazing woman shared what they appreciate about me, blessing me with their friendship and their lovely gifts.

Dinner with coworkers Katy, Karen, and Phyllis, had me laughing so hard my stomach hurt later!

I'm rich with relationship, and my heart is sore at having to say goodbye. Good thing I know God's plans are good as I start a new life.

And that true friendships never die.

Sometimes a girl needs a good cry
Last night, I was talking on the phone to David, and something set me off emotionally and there was no going back. I hung up the phone and sobbed about everything in general--the absence of my dad during this joyful time, saying goodbye to my coworkers and my livelihood, leaving kindred-spirit friendships that have sustained me, leaving my church behind, my hairstylist and my gym, my doctors and my usual local haunts.

New routine awaits me, and now it is time to say goodbye to the old. I hold it fondly, but am preparing to let it go. Change can be good, but it is good and right to fully grieve the letting go.

It's so true--sometimes a girl just needs a good cry.

And now, looking ahead
"Two roads diverged in the woods, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

I quoted the above by Robert Frost last Saturday as David and I walked the trail around the lake, and were forced to choose between two paths. And it reminded me that our choices, usually the hardest ones, are turning points, and they often involve obedience and sacrifice, and it made me wonder what paths David and I will choose as we walk forward through life together. I feel in my heart that we will take the one less traveled by--praying to our Creator to show us the way, to give us the strength to live bold and large, following his lead, and leaning into his strength. And I know we will do this all imperfectly.

A month or two ago, we baked a yummy loaf of crusty gluten-free cinnamon raisin bread, and it was fresh out of the oven. David cut a piece off the loaf, took a bite, put his arm around me, and held the bread up to my mouth for me to have a taste. And it was delicious, so fresh.

Then I took the slice, and I held it up to his mouth, and he took a bite--back and forth, feeding each other. Waiting patiently for our turn.

And it occurred to me in that new moment, one I had never experienced in any way before, that this was what our marriage would be about.

As we become one in every way, discovering how to sustain each other--being taken care of than taking care of the other. It was such an intimate moment that it took my breath away, and I think I will remember it always.
David, I hold your heart carefully, longingly, looking forward to life together--to so many days of sharing bread with you.