To the overscheduled, he says "come"

Sometimes I get too busy and I forget so quickly how much Jesus loves me, how much he desires for me to sit quietly with him. To discover the secrets of the abundant life he desperately wants to give you and me.

And, when my life gets too crowded and the word "margin" begins to refer only to settings on my Microsoft Word documents, I can get sad, anxious, and angry all at once.

Like this week, when a woman on the phone pressed me on something, and I retorted, "Well, OBVIOUSLY NOT." (Ugly.) Or the morning I woke up and felt like I wanted to cancel every appointment or obligation on my calendar for the next 6 months or so. (Seriously.) Or how about the way I so easily take on not only my own stuff, but the burdens and expectations of others, forgetting to bring all my anxieties to my heavenly Father, knowing and believing he will take care of them. (Pride masquerading as "genuine concern.")

Busted!

But even when I find myself in the ugliest of places, Jesus' invitation from Matthew 11:28-30 stares back at me, unflinchingly, from my open Bible, and I know he's inviting me back to a place of freedom and life.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened (yes, I'm drowning under the load!)

...and I will give you rest. (I like to think of it as cool water and shade after a hot, dusty hike)

Take my yoke upon you (my way of doing life) and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

(And all those words, "rest," "easy," and "light" bring peace and a smile.)

So, consider this, on the days, weeks, or months I choose busyness or productivity over sweet rest in Jesus, I am not being obedient. I am taking a load that is not mine to bear--and it shows. To my coworkers, to the man God has given me, to my girlfriends, to the friends who haven't checked into what this abundant God-life is all about. Especially to them.

And so, to the overscheduled and harried, he says "come." That is why this week I have made way for more margin, more time just to be. And that is precisely why I canceled today's Biblestudy, even though I always look forward to it. Because sometimes you have to choose the best over the very good.

Sometimes the most Jesus-like thing a girl can do is to stop and say "It's time for rest."

"Isn't it lovely?" or "Suzie falls in love at last"

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
Erich Sega

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.
Lord Byron

Yes! Alright already! I have fallen in love and left blogging behind for too long, until friends and acquaintances and my honey himself have begged me to write at last, to fill in all the delicious blanks in this love story, to give them reasons to smile coyly and whisper, "Well, Suzie, it's about time..."

About 6 months ago, I was on eharmony.com, partly as a diversion from the impending grief our family was experiencing at the thought of losing dad--partly because, although my dating life seemed bleak (or non-existent), I still thought there might be a single of the male species out there, over 30 years old, who loved Jesus, didn't fear commitment, and might someday love me. Maybe.

I wasn't holding my breath, and I was carefully screening all potential applicants. Within a month, I had closed out a bevy of 43-year-olds (or it seemed like they were all 43) who either weren't serious in their search or just didn't seem right for Suzie.

And so, as my options narrowed drastically, a 41-year-old from the state of Indiana named David, remained open. He looked kind, he appeared to have a good heart, and to my surprise, it seemed like I had the qualities he was looking for.

Then came the first phone call, an awkward event, where each party listens politely, and laughs more than usual. He was interesting, this David. But was he determined enough to call back? Sensitive enough for a grieving heart? Confident enough to appreciate a confident woman?

In short, yes! And so began the process of phone calls and visits, the shared interests of following Jesus, and appreciating music, fine cuisine and dark chocolate--and discovering differences, and admiring each other carefully from a distance.

I am not sure when this fondness turned to love, for it was gradual and sweet. Was it the beautiful bike ride around Mackinac Island? The day he slipped a "ring pop" on my finger and asked me to go steady? Could it be the way David, although unsure of what to say or do, stepped into the fresh grief mom and I were experiencing? Perhaps it was the day I realized that although dad had never met David, I knew for certain dad would appreciate David's strong work ethic and his faithful heart; his easy laughter and the way he opens my car door, just one of the ways he gently cares for me.

It was not a moment in time for me, but a slow understanding and awakening. I write of it now because writer Don Miller once said that if you like someone you should tell them. How much more true, I think, if you love them, and they are in a place to receive that love. Especially when they have first extended their love to you.

Of course, CS Lewis also writes that love is dangerous, and that if you want to protect your heart, you will not give it to anyone, not even an animal. But I have learned through the years, as Lewis did, the life of the imprisoned, guarded heart is no way to live. And so I choose love, no matter what comes.

Not long ago I held David's hand and said "God is good, all the time." And he said "All the time, God is good."

I'm still here!

Despite the lack of posts, I'm still here...more to come this week on this whirlwind of a life.

And for now, a quote for the day:

"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe