Friday, April 17, 2009

Here's to all the "backwards" folks

Apparently it is no longer reasonable to expect a newlywed man not to cheat in his first year, according to an interview I watched on abcnews.com. More and more men (and women) step outside of their marriage bounds long before they get to the "seven-year-itch."

To the lady's credit, she did tell people that living together before marriage increases the chances of cheating. However, she also told women to "just join 'em" when their man wants to view pornography. She says this will spice up their sex life and hopefully prevent the man from seeking sex outside of marriage.

Sorry, but viewing porn together is not the answer!!

Yesterday, I also watched part of an Oprah program where a couple of 14-year-olds were discussing whether or not they would have sex together. I was glad they were talking about it and that their parents were there. But I was SICK about the fact that the boy's mom bought him condoms. I don't want you to do it, but just in case. Talk about a double message. Keep talking to your kids about sex, for pete's sake, but give them a reason NOT to go there until marriage. The  most these particular parents seemed to be hoping for was to delay the sex, at least for another 6 months to a year. 

There is a better answer!

And lastly, my heart has been stirred by the delightful performance of Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent. But why in the world does the media keep identifying her as "the woman who's never been kissed." As if she is less of a person. As if she is not everything God created her to be as a woman!

Now I'm the last one to put down sex. God created it in all its glory--and since my new husband and I waited for marriage, red-hot monogamy has been better than I could have ever imagined. No STDs to wonder about. No trust issues about whether my spouse is capable of being faithful. No limits on enjoying the gift that's championed in the Song of Solomon, when doing so with a pure heart.

God created this amazing bond between a husband and a wife to cement them together, to carry their love the distance. But, just as we owe our very lives to the God who lovingly created us and seeks to redeem us from our sin, I'd like to propose that we owe our sex lives to God as well.

I've noticed that much of the pain and heartache in our lives stem from bad choices in our romantic relationships. "I contracted herpes at age 15 because I didn't know my girlfriend was infected." "I thought sex would keep us together forever, but my boyfriend just used me for a few months before moving on to the next girl." "I thought pornography would make me feel like a man, but all my life it kept me from ever pursuing a healthy relationship with a woman." 

Satisfying our sexual urges is a tough path, I'll admit: but life can be tough in general. When we make a decision to present our bodies and our minds to God, and to ask for His help when we make mistakes, to get back on track, to try to keep ourselves pure, wonderful things happen and tragedy is avoided. It turns out these "backward rules" God outlined in the Bible really do work.

I can testify as a single for 35 years and a married woman for one, that God knows us well enough to know exactly what we need to be whole people. Sex can be more amazing than most people realize--when it blossoms in the right place (marriage) with the right person (your spouse), it's the real deal. No regrets. No justifications. Just pure enjoyment. 

Here's to all the "backwards" folks.

Oh, and one last thing...Susan Boyle, I hope you win the prize!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I whole heartedly agree! She shouldn't be identified by that status and "red hot monogamy is great!" We're so happy that we waited for marriage. Kirsten

Erin said...

I've never regretted keeping sex for my husband and marrying a man who kept it for me. And parents who think 14-year-olds are capable of making that decision without moral guidance are reprehensible.