quote for a Thursday

"We read to know we are not alone."
-CS Lewis

I'll call him Sam

A few years ago, a friend set me up with a guy I'll call "Sam." Sam was extremely good looking, kind, my age, and a book lover to boot!

Seriously, Sam and I could have talked about books for about eight hours, I think. But I knew going into my first date with Sam that there was something big that might keep us from pursuing any kind of dating relationship.

Sam is Catholic.

But I was open-minded, wanting to hear his thoughts on faith and Christian spirituality.

And, doggone it, the very thing I respect most about Sam is the thing that would keep me from continuing to see him: he was a bonafide, dyed-in-the-wool, this-is-my-life devout Catholic. (I pictured Sam's future wife as gorgeous, benevolent, and well, pregnant.)

Sure, he was raised that way, but the impressive thing about Sam was that he had studied his religious tradition for himself. He wasn't "borrowing" on his parents' faith. In the span of two dates, I learned a lot about Sam, and a lot more about Catholicism. Coming from a Baptist background, I was curious about all-things-Catholic.

So, Sam and I sat at the coffee shop, and I learned very quickly that he was opposed to birth control, and he was wholeheartedly pro-life (a bonus), but that for the rest of his life he would practice the dictates of the Catholic church to the best of his ability. He seemed wholly devoted to serving the poor and doing wonderfully good things. So I was a little sad that after our coffee date, and a date to a square dance, Sam and I would part ways.

Oh, well, I thought. We must have been destined to learn from each other. I do believe in my heart of hearts that every conversation, every "blind date" can instruct us on our journeys.

And so, occasionally Sam would call, but eventually we just lost touch.

Fast forward 1 1/2 years...our mutual friend tells me Sam is becoming a priest! He is selling all his possessions, quitting his job, and moving away from family. But the sad part of the story is that Sam says he is doing this because he cannot find a wife. He hopes that the community he might find as a priest, in seminary, might touch this void.

And if Sam goes through this schooling and decides taking the vow is not for him, he can still back out. But he would have to in all ways "start over."

When my friend shared this drastic news, I was tempted to e-mail Sam to tell him not to do it. I really think he is a wonderful man with a zillion good qualities a woman should look for in a husband. But Sam is on his own journey. He's making a choice that seems scary to me, based on his reasoning, but it is his choice.

And I wonder...what might God teach him through this season?

Sam recently mentioned to our mutual friend that I had once said something very profound about love to him that he has never forgotten. I cannot imagine what that might have been.
But Sam told my friend that God meant for the two of us to meet, even though we both realized a dating relationship would be impossible.

When my friend shared this with me, I thought about daily events that whiz by, and how my heavenly Father ordains the people, and circumstances, and chance meetings, and in a way--even the instruction of failed romances. It's the age-old reminder that our lives are being so lovingly woven into a tapestry: we see the "underbelly," ratty, ugly, and seemingly purposeless.

But He sees the colors and hues forming something beautiful, sometimes painful, but always, always something he is working for good. It might not seem so good today, but in the biggest picture, in the larger sense, it is entirely good.

Sam doesn't realize that he's reminded me to put the "dailyness" in my life back into perspective. But if I could see Sam today, I would thank him. And that is how God used a future Catholic priest to show me His love and care for me. Go figure!

Thank you, kindhearted, good-looking, hard-working, devoted Sam.

Quote of the day

"A characteristic of the great saints is their power of levity. Angels can fly because they can take themselves lightly. One 'settles down' into a sort of selfish seriousness; but one has to rise to a gay self-forgetfulness."
-GK Chesterton

And finally, home

Yes, I made it from NYC to Denver to Indiana in a one-week period. And now I'm home. (OK, I'm actually at a coffee shop right now that's about a 1/2-mile from home.)

It was good to see the city and the mountains, and yes, my family in the midwest--but it is time to nest for a few nights. To settle back into some sort of routine.

This last weekend, dad reserved all his energy so he could preach on Sunday. I didn't realize he would preach on the "Christian way of dying." He talked about how the apostle Paul's second imprisonment brought the knowledge that he would soon pass from this life to his real, true, eternal home. A place that was "better by far."

I have an author friend who quotes CS Lewis often: "If you feel in your heart there is a longing which nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that you were made for another world."

Dad's voice was weak, but his purpose was strong: he recounted how his doctors have given him a matter of months to live. Yet he reminded the congregation that he is prepared to go to heaven. He seemed quiet, yet authoritative and completely at peace.

For those of you who don't know, dad's pain has increased in his neck and lower spine. New chemo treatments have been ordered, and he's also undergoing daily radiation--measures meant to decrease his pain.

My 6-year-old niece joined me as I visited my parents, and dad gathered her on his lap and, though feeble, he read to her from the first book of The Chronicles of Narnia. I closed my eyes and listened, transported to my childhood days, when dad would read us chapters of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe right before bed. My sister Julie and I would beg for just one more chapter before shutting our eyes for the night. Many times dad obliged.

It wasn't until my adult years when the weight of the story's symbolism hit me with fresh force. In Narnia, Lewis instructed me on the sheer wildness and audacious grace of God. This heavenly Father came to me through the roar of Aslan and through his tender sacrifice on the Stone Table. And the story still speaks....

I titled this entry "And finally, home." I meant my earthly dwelling, of course. It is good to be home. But I'm also referring to my final heavenly home. Dad is approaching our forever tomorrow. It is hard for me to fathom that he is ahead of me on the race. And I long to run up alongside him, and as I imagined myself doing with Aslan, to bury my face in his mane--or in this case, to lay it lovingly on his shoulder.

But there is a letting go I am being called to. It hurts like sheer hell and brings a literal physical ache. Still, there is a part of my spirit that soars with the knowledge of his homegoing. He's sidling up to Jesus, keeping his eyes fixed on what matters, leaving for a far better, pain-free, glorious existence.

Yes, of course, so I am jealous. And my God--the Lord of heaven and earth--wouldn't want it any other way.

This life journey can often feel long, but the end of the rainbow promises much more than gold. Maybe our biggest problem isn't being "so heavenly minded that we're no earthly good." Perhaps if we were more heavenly-minded, if we remembered all that our heavenly Father has so intentionally and lovingly planned for us, we would be of far greater use in the here-and-now. Do you agree?

Loving NYC

Sure, I know rationally that I would not survive in NY. I would tire of the noise and the pace, the crowds and the pressure. And yet, a slice of me wishes to stay here, to live in the energy, to absorb the culture, to discover how to live in such amazing diversity.

I've even got a soft spot for those with strong New York accents, sometimes pushy and forward, but also magnanimous and kind. I met a cute fireman at the Grand Central station subway stop, I dined with a local who was originally from the Phillippines, and I even argued with the very New York hotel manager. (He gave me the rate quoted with a funny "I'm not wrong" but I want your experience with Hampton to be satisfactory.)

The top 5 things I've learned about NY:
1. Many New Yorkers are not good at giving directions! Don't assume they know where to point you. New York street workers got me lost!!
2. Ignore men of any nationality who walk by you on the street and say "hey, babe." They're generally harmless, but you don't want to encourage them. :)
3. Invest in a good bag that has an adjustable strap and wear it diagonally. You'll feel that your possessions are safe even when you get lost in the crowd.
4. Don't feel like you need to do it all. You can't! Pick the top things on your list and enjoy them to the fullest. But make sure you experience some night life. That's when the city comes alive.
5. Open yourself up to meeting and interacting with a variety of people-at restaurants, subway stops, parks, etc. and your trip will be enriched by their cultures and viewpoints. And be sure to schedule time for people-watching!

I'm bone-tired and headed to bed on this Sunday night. On to Denver in the a.m., bright and early.

Picture descriptions: looking at the Brooklyn bridge from the Manhattan Seaport, classmate Dante (charming!), Suzie and her new friend Jenny (Jenny graciously gave me a NY walking tour), dancers and drums at the Times Square subway station, Times Square on a Saturday night

NYC and me

I flew out to NYC at 8 am this morning and am having a marvelous time. The urban culture is fascinating and colorful. So although the temp hovered around 25 degrees today, I was grateful to be out walking, walking, and walking some more. :)

I saw Ground Zero and walked through St. Paul's cathedral...the church that stood standing with not a window shattered when 9/11 exploded on the streets of Manhattan.

It was beautiful and poignant inside with a moving tribute to all the heroes that served the volunteers and those who were hurting emotionally and physically in the 9 months following the accident. There were chiropractors and massage therapists, cooks and counselors, thousands upon thousands who held hands and wrapped up sore feet and offered an ear to the devastated.

When you walk in, it is quiet with candles burning, and you feel a hush as people talk in low tones. It's a sacred place, and visitor after visitor lines up next to a long roll of paper to move a crayon over the sheet, leaving their condolences or blessings on our country and its heroes. Since this was my first visit to Ground Zero (and NY City in general), I felt tears welling up and an incredible sadness as I looked at so many pictures of people who were "missing" after the twin towers were struck--so many of them looked radiant and vivacious, never knowing that an event soon to come would end their lives and change the landscape of our country forever.

I imagined loved ones combing the soot-lined streets after the bombing, begging passerbys to look at their photos, to hope perchance that the missing were just that--missing but safe. Oh, the relief that came when some were found, and the tremendous anger and grief when some were permanently gone from this earth.

It is good to remember, to be grateful for life and the sunshine and your family and your livelihood. To thank God that he is still gracious and kind even when very, very bad things happen.

-------------------------------------------------------------

The plane ride

I met two new friends today. One of them named Tim sat next to me on the airplane. Tim runs a brewery in Kalamazoo, and he's actually attending the "Extreme Beer" festival here in NYC this weekend. His brewery's chocolate dessert beer will be featured at the end of a long beer-filled meal. :)

He told me the ins and outs of NY, taught me how to navigate the subway, and gave me a plan for visiting the sites I'm interested in. Middle-aged but young at heart, Tim kept whetting my appetite for Little Italy, insisting that I must visit a particular restaurant there. (This was his second choice for my dining pleasure, since he found out I don't really eat barbeque.) Hey, what would you expect from a brewery owner?

Tim, if you ever find my blog, thanks for showing me the ropes before we landed in NY!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Whole Foods Forever

If you've never visited whole foods, you haven't lived. Everything is natural, and living, and delicious, and I ate a scrumptious vegetarian feast, filling my body with delicious bites of eggplant, and chickpeas, and all sorts of salads that Whole Foods prepares. You can eat Moroccan, or vegetarian, or organic salads, or macaroni and cheese, or beef...you can eat anything at whole foods, except artificial ingredients.

I sat at a high table, and a lawyer took the seat across from me. He was friendly and kind, and he asked me what I do, and was only mildly turned off when I said I work to market Christian books!

He munched on his sushi while standing up, speaking with a strange Chicago/NY accent that he acquired from living in both places, of course. I had to listen intensely to follow him. And as I raved about the beauty and goodness of Whole Foods, he shrugged his shoulders. It's OK, he said. But since he can eat at Whole Foods 365 days a year, it's not really special to him anymore. How very sad, I said.

I can't imagine having so many delicious natural food choices and ever getting bored. But I guess that shows I live in the midwest, where they don't yet believe in Whole Foods in my town. But someday, someday... (written very wistfully)

Enough about my healthy food fetish...

More on NY tomorrow. Enjoy the pics. And, as always, feel free to post to say hello.

As The Days Whirl

Well, I hate it when people sit around talking about how "busy" they are. "There just aren't enough hours in the day..." "So many demands, so much pressure..." "I wish I could step off the merryground."

Cliches, all. And sadly, I use them sometimes. Like this week. With 3 1/2 hour meetings, and ads that need to be rewritten, and radio specials that need to be approved, and so little time to enjoy what you're doing...just enough time to get it done.

But I am still smiling...and although I've been a bit short with some people this week, I am working to discover how to enjoy even the days that are overwhelming and non-productive. If you have any secrets for me regarding this, do tell.

I'm taking a whirlwind trip through New York City and on to Denver, starting Friday. I expect to be moved by my first trip to Ground Zero, to enjoy the bustle of the city, and the new discoveries to be had at the marketing seminar I'm attending.

Then on to my annual trek to Denver for a meeting with a publishing partner. I remind myself that I do enjoy traveling, even though it can be riddled with possible inconveniences. Like the trip to Denver last year, where I lost my luggage for 3 days and learned to survive on little makeup and a few new outfits of clothes. Hey, every experience stretches us! It's amazing what you can live without...

But enough of that. Y'all come back and watch for my blog postings and pics from the Big Apple. Catch ya later!

Quote for the day

"Creativity is a way of living life, no matter what our vocation, or how we earn a living."
-from Walking on Water by Madeleine L'Engle