original poetry - "fearfully, wonderfully"

i woke happy
sitting up with a start
and felt a shiver
emanating from my heart

it was a promise of newness
of something unexpected
and wonderful
only slightly fearful

like field trip day
in the middle of second grade
like camping in a thunderstorm
bracing to get soaked

but I was 33
no school bus waiting
no tent-trailer stalked by lightning
and somewhat disappointed

i hesitated
awaking from my dream
wishing I might
fall back asleep

forcing my eyes to reopen
examining the room
my heart still racing
feet to the floor

i noticed a little something
a bright orange lady bug
alighting on my curtain
and I was fairly certain

i’d never seen one before
because he was brilliant
tiny but efficient
a pleasant window-side addition

i stood up with a big stretch
reaching for who knows what
my body gracefully engaging
a concert of cartilage and nerves

a breakfast of oatmeal
warmed me to my toes
nourishing, filling, rejuvenating
i was ready to go

door creaking open
colors dousing my senses
i blinked at the menagerie
dreaming still? i hesitated

the pines were a million
different hues of green
the bluejay on the feeder
radiant, dashing, & bold

and so it goes…

one would think
my tall latte would bring clarity
but as jazz flowed into Starbucks
i slowly started dancing

and an old man took my hand
i smiled and spinned
imagining a little girl twirling
feeling uncharacteristically beautiful

and time stopped passing
still moving, i started understanding
that yesterday started the same
and i marveled at the change

just one day ago
i hit the snooze
and to my chagrin
missed a brilliant polka-dotted bug

never noticing
the concert my body
was performing
as I hauled out of bed

the oatmeal had been tasteless
sliding down my throat
i was wholly unthankful
for my nourishment

even the bluejay’s chirp
had annoyed my sensibilities
as I drove among the graceful pines
never pausing for a look

the latte had been “the usual”
the old man alone, unnoticed
and i had walked out grouchy
wondering why i was late for work

but that was then
and this is now
living in the moment
i complete my final twirl

and i squeeze the old man’s paw
kiss him on the cheek
and thank him for the dance
a toothless grin greeting me

i have been looking
for the next best thing
all the while
surrounded by miracles

and i make a vow
feeling small, like the ladybug
bold, like the bluebird
joyful, like the old man

i will not forget the wonderful
i will embrace the fearful
for after all
that is how I was made

fearfully
and
wonderfully